Where there is chaos, there is suffering.
I have recently taken a sabbatical from blogging. My first week off was to relax my brain and spend more time with my family, free from computers. The week prior to the break included multiple blog post creations, a resume development, and an increase in my blood pressure ;). I was being pulled in several directions and desperately needed a break. I needed to breathe. Something had to give. I took a sabbatical from my blog.
At first, I worried my writing friends and readers would shy away and turn their backs on me. I honestly thought they would think, “She’s not writing. She’s not posting. I’m done following her.”
And then I thought, “Nope. They will hang in there with me because we all struggle with time and the pressures of post consistency. And if some decide to leave, that is their decision.” I needed a break. I took one. I don’t feel guilty for doing so.
Do you struggle with allowing yourself a break? Do you feel guilty if you do take a break?
As mentioned above, one of the last things I did before my ‘writing sabbatical’ was revamp my resume. I was given the opportunity to submit my resume to an ePub magazine for an editing position. I immediately jumped on this opportunity. I love editing and providing fellow writers with supportive feedback.
In 2005 I was a student teacher in a 12th grade English classroom. The only aspect of student teaching that I absolutely loved and embraced was providing my students with feedback on essays. I thrived at it. And so, when this opportunity presented itself, I decided to give it my all and see where it could lead. The day after submitting my resume, the editor-in-chief called me and offered me a “trial hiring” to train and prove my abilities as a writer and editor.
The second week of my ‘writing sabbatical’ was filled with reading and editing for my training. My eyes suffered immensely and were (and still are) frequently red, sore, and dry. But, I was (and still am) doing something that I love. I am doing it from home. I am getting paid to do it. I am embracing the chaos.
Simplicity of the Past
Once upon a time I was the 24 year-old newlywed. I frequently ingested turkey burgers and macaroni and cheese at my living room coffee table while watching Law & Order SVU. I collected quarters in a large plastic container, once the home of banana peppers, just so I could clean my laundry at a Laundromat. I went to bed at 3AM and woke up at 11AM. Life was easy. Life was too easy. It wasn’t filled will ‘what if’s’ but with routine.
Today I am co-creator of Noah and Casey. I am mom. I frequently construct “fluff and Nutella” sandwiches and pair them with sippy cups of chocolate milk. I am lucky to sit down and eat. But when I do, I am forced to embrace “Blues Clues” or “Power Rangers RPM”. I sit on my couch, laptop resting on my legs, two little boys on either side of me. Both boys love to poke at the keyboard. But, I sit with my laptop next to the boys with the poking fingers because I love those little fingers and I love to write. I am mom. I must make-do.
I have openly embraced this present chaos because I am a writer. There, I said it. Thank you, Jeff Goins, for forcing me to affirm who I am. I have trashed the “aspiring” part. I am a writer. And in order to do embrace my passion to be a mom and to be a writer, I must embrace the chaos. And sometimes, I have to put one thing aside to balance another.
Life is a constant balancing act. Life is about risk taking. Sometimes you have to pause a few things you love to do in order to open new widows of opportunity. I am still writing. I am still blogging. But, I am first and foremost a mom and a wife who needs to support her family. Although my post frequency may dwindle every now and then, I will still work towards the dreams I have created. I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t given up. I am embracing the chaos.
So please hang in there with me as I embark on a new editing adventure. I will keep writing and I will keep posting. Here’s hoping I find new inspirations along the way ;).
How do you embrace the chaos?